I had a long and prophetic post planned, but I’ll keep it short because success in life is actually pretty easy. As like any year, this year had many changes. Change is really the only thing you can count on being constant–the glory is, you get to learn how to manage and react to that change. The more you sink into the truth of that change and things that happen often have little to do with you, the less reactive you will be. That takes consistent practice; it takes SOME KIND of consistent thing/action that allows you to be present and focused on one point of awareness. That can be meditation, swimming, running, mandala coloring, cooking, watching your breathing…..etc. You need some sort of one-pointed awareness to separate yourself from the noise and from your self narrative. So find something and do that as many times a week as you can.
You need to water your own garden. No one is impressed anymore by you running yourself ragged–its not good for you and it simply makes you look exhausted. Pause your busy calendar–it doesn’t love you back. ?? Whats more impressive is YOU normalizing rest and creating strong boundaries–its you deciding that you love yourself enough to pause and honor the fact that you are not expected to “do it all” and be successful. So rest, and if you can’t, ask for help.
Ohhh, that leads me to success and your 9-5 job does not determine your self worth. I opened my business this year and it is definitely not 9-5. It’s been an interesting and sometimes awkward adjustment but has taught me that success is really YOU showing up in your divinity–it’s YOU showing up in authenticity with your own magic. Because, truly, you are magic–I’ve seen you. The universe does the rest. You’re worth is not determined by your paycheck or the number of hours you work.
Still reading? Good. Be authentic and content. STOP, dear lord, please stop trying to board the “happiness train”, please stop reading about toxic positivity. This type of philosophy can lead you to shame yourself over and over again. It’s not that I don’t think you should be positive or happy, it’s just that it doesn’t go far enough and it’s ephemoral. Trying to be happy all the time forces us to put on a mask for others. It doesn’t allow you to be authentic about shitty days or sad times. Grief is a giant part of life and so is disappointment….it’s ok. (*This may or may not be the start of a book outline for me) :-)
Instead strive for contentment: you reach contentment by constantly coming back to gratitude. (and I don’t mean, I’m happy for my 68 Fastback). I mean, look around you at all that you have and all that you are. Nothing truly needs changing, NOTHING. Gratitude exists when we are not striving and pursuing–at the time when we are not rushing towards the next acquisition, the next self help class. So be content, and if that’s hard, remember that you are integrating all the parts that you think are unlovable on a daily basis to show them that you are lovable and creating a whole. That’s YOU, you’re the whole.
Oh look–you’re lovable and whole. You don’t need to change. (read it again, you DON’T need to change) Healing requires alchemy. It requires you being patient in what is a process of creating a whole. Don’t turn away from the things you don’t like about yourself–they don’t need to be changed and you don’t need “7 habits of successful life” or a “masterclass” to fix them. You just need to love them. You just have to look at them authentically and say…this is a lovable part of myself no matter how dark it is. Integrate and alchemize all parts of yourself.
*This may or may not be the start of a book outline for me)
You know the Yin Yang symbol? that line in between is called contentment. It’s where the light and dark meet up, its where the quiet and the loud shake hands, its where the bright and the dim say hello. Take a look at that symbol and you will see the tiny circles in each of the other. Chaos is always present, but you always have the opportunity to step away and be the aware person. YOU have the tools to allow the chaos to integrate–say this….oh yup, there it is, there’s the tornado. –Right now, it’s just like this, and it feels bad but it’s not true– and be focused and content as it flows around you. I highly suggest studying the Yin Yang symbol for a day, its a metaphor for living.
Lastly, (I know I said it wouldn’t be long) Have faith. Its been a crappy-snappy 2 years. Its been mostly represented by the Metal Element. That means its been grief filled and has effected our lungs. (more on this if you chat with me about Chinese medicine)The Year of the Water Tiger is coming in February. Things are going to change. More on that later in the month.
and, really lastly, here are your takeaways:
don’t worship anyone/teacher/specialist or Dr.: I broke this rule again for the 3rd time in my life and the result is not good every time. Be careful who you give your energy to.
Strive for contentment not happiness! Stop pursuing some ideal smile–you’re exhausting yourself and that’s where your anxiety is born. Take the mask off, people will still love you.
Find a practice that is consistent (if you want to learn meditation you can call me, dm me) and do it. Tell me what you do, I want to hear about it.
Communicate in kindness. Make your words reflect your heart. That doesn’t mean you cant be angry, you can. but remember most things that piss you off have nothing to do with you–other people’s treatment of you is usually about them, not you. Its up to you to look in the mirror every. single. day and say….you’re worthy of love, you’re worthy of not stealing from, you are worthy of it all…because you are divine and magic. Be whole, be content and you look past the “needs improvement” category and realize that YOU ALREADY ARE.
2022 Let’s go!